Just in reading your post I can feel in my chest some of the helplessness and hopelessness you must be feeling. I have had experiences similar to yours, and still deal with many of them each day. It's so hard that sometimes I too wonder what the use of it all is. Especially in the mornings when I first wake up, and realize all over again what my life has become.

I would really like to talk to you about this, but I don't really feel comfortable discussing some things on an open forum. If you are willing, I would rather talk via PM or e-mail. No matter what else you decide, p-l-e-a-s-e don't do anything sudden or rash. Think it through with another person. There are those who believe that every person is a very special being. I am one of them, and know a lot more.