sorry if i sounded like i was scolding people for not being positive.

i was always trying to be a polly-f-ing-anna

i do not feel like i'm pessimistic or optimistic

just realistic for my points in time

most of my alternatives kinda sucked to me.

i'd be a terrible pd poster child after 21 years, i smoke drink and swear too much.

jump off a 108 story building in vegas for fun

what's it going to do kill me?

20 years of trials and errors with pd drugs and their long term side effects haven't made me less ornery.
haven't made me have pd less, like it or be nice about it all the time.

mostly i just keep it to myself. that's just me.

dunno, i may have misunderstood or misinterpreted the entire post which is not too unusual for me these days and why i stay off the medical boards completely for the most part.

biker boards aren't a sensitive lot, if i mess things up there, they are quick to help me figure it out, lol
they don't mind calling me a butthead.