I can't stress enough that you need a good antidepressent when dealing with this monster. It will help with how you feel as well as sleeping.

I still deal with some depression and bouts of crying but not like when I was at where you are now.

Today I deal with the sarcastic remarks from my husband that I need to get up and go get a job. Or that he is tired of working and wants to retire. I feel so guilty it is unreal.

I have tried to get a job, but with no avail. (not to mention, I will need to take off about 10 or more days just in dr.'s visits.)

The dilemina. Any who, don't freet on the future you do not know what it holds. Only GOD knows. Focus on today and try to do something that you havent done. Find a hobby or something to keep you occupied.