I just wanted to pop in and say that I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time lately. I've been there and I know how you feel. Last year when I had spread and it literally seemed like everyday there was something new wrong or worse it was very hard to stay positive. My brain kept saying there was hope, still new things to try, new docs to see, etc...but that frustrating sense of hopelessness kept trying to wiggle its way in. I put a lot of faith in one doctor's visit that I waited months for and when it went badly (or I should say not as expected and turned out to be a waste of time) I think that was my lowest moment. I shut myself away in a dark room for a day. My boyfriend told me I got ONE day to feel like crap and then it was time to pick myself up again. It helped.

Mostly I had to reassess the big picture and what I wanted for myself and the best way to get there. This forced me to make some hard decisions and I had to come to accept some things about how my life was changing. Didn't mean I had to stop fighting...I wasn't giving up...but I had to learn to live with the idea that things might not get any better and learn to live with the way things were right in that moment. I also had to focus on the importance of my mental health. I never saw a psych or anything...seems I was able to work through this on my own...but don't underestimate the value of help sorting all of ths out. Sometimes making decisions that will improve your mental health go against what we "want" but overall lead to better quality of life.

The kicker of course is that what is best for you in this situation may not be what is best for everyone else with RSD. You really need to look inside yourself for those answers about what is best for you overall. Look at the things that are causing you stress...things that are your triggers...and see what you can do to remove or change them. Think about things that make you happy or that help you relax and try to add more of those things into your life.

You can make it through this. Please reach out to family, friends, doctors, lawyers, etc to help you through this and to help you achieve what you need for better quality of life and to make things better overall for you. Remember that it is YOUR life, YOUR health, and YOU make the decisions about what is best for you. I know it doesn't feel like it most of the time when you have RSD...but we do have control of many things in our life and the power to make things better for ourselves.

Sorry to ramble on...hope tomorrow is better...always better...