Bless your heart. How WELL I know this story. I'm a spinal patient as well as a chronic pain sufferer. I've dealt with this beast of chronic pain for 26 years. Yes, you read that right -- 26 years. It has been agony. No one understands. People say "Gee, you look ok." Or "does your back still hurt?" Or they'll say "Why don't you exercise?" My God, EVERY MOVEMENT I MAKE is agony -- how in the hell can I exercise? This pain has advanced into RSD now, so it's NOT just my back!!! It's everywhere. So they want me to exercise?? I'm lucky if I can get out of bed! YOU know what I'm talking about, don't you Painman!!!

Ahhh, the anger. I went thru that stage too, but I've gotten over that. It seems that I've accepted the fact that I'm going to be in pain the rest of my life. I have a good doctor who is trying very hard too help get me comfortable, but it's been very difficult because I'm VERY hard to treat. In fact, it takes triple doses to medicate me, and that's questionable to the DEA. My doc would get into trouble if he medicated me like that! I wake up on the operating table during surgery -- that's how hard I am to medicate. I've done that 3 times during surgery!!! They just can't keep me asleep or give me enough to do it!

I know the frustration, the feeling of being uselessness, the loneliness, the pain. Many of us are stuck in this awful pit of despair. But if you keep postiing or look for other support groups who can help give you the support you need, or if you can find a group locally it will certainly help. Even if you can find just a chronic pain support group it would be great! Just try not to isolate, even tho getting out is painful. Sometimes we have to try to "ignore" the pain as much as possible -- even tho ignoriing it isn't the right word as we can't ever ignore it. It's there all the time, and is too severe to ignore. Just try to "bypass" it and get out and DO ignore the ignorant statements made by people who don't understand. Just say I'm ok and walk on cause if they really wanted to know how you were, they'd come to the house and be supportive.

I wish you the very best. Just know there are people "out here" who DO understand and who care. God bless Painman, and take care. Hugs, Lee