Hi
private messaging is available after you have made the required number of posts, and can be done either from your User CP or by clicking the User Name top left of each post to get the drop down menu or by clicking "send Message" under the user name on a profile page. Leaving visitor messages on profiles can be seen by others, while the private messaging system is just between you and the other member. You can also select to receive emails by checking that setting in your user CP options