I will not drink. I know it's not conducive to my recovery, though I know it will be a struggle to refrain. I don't want to wake up in 10 years with a hangover, wondering where my life went, sick, or not wanting to live. I know my life has more potential. And I don't want to destroy that with alcohol.
Easier said than done, right? I give myself an array of excuses (well idid) to drink, and it got me here. Tired, depressed, anxious, and needing help. I know alcohol isn't wht brought me here, not on it's own, anyway, but I know that I use it to escape, and escaping is not coping. It's not growing.

I just need to keep talking about it, keep my awareness of myself up and kickin' so I don't fall in to the trap again.

Right now, I take my meds and smoke cigarettes. I will address that mountain when I'm ready to climb it.

~Samantha