Oh no worries I didn't think you sounded judgey at all! I am not sure what to do differently, to be honest except I guess try not to push the envelope. I feel like I am expecting myself to "be better" after 7 months of this.

And I know I have it way better than a lot of us here on the forum so I don't want to sound whiney. anyway, I think I will be ok for my cousins wedding as long as I just play the song and leave after. ( no reception)

I probably should not have gone last night, but I had to try. When I got hired for my job iagreed to be there. Luckily my boss told me to go home at noon today after court was through. Thank you for your post!

How are you doing?