If you are crazy, then a lot of us are. That's exactly the way I felt. I had a meltdown in front of my husband, and said essentially the same as you: "I don't want MS, but I know (sob sob) there's SOMETHING wrong with me (sob sob) and the only thing left (sob sob) is that I'm (sob) CRA-A-A-Z-Y-Y-Y, waaaahhhhhh!"

Just remember that we're all right behind you and know right where you're coming from. Hang in there. Oh, and there IS hope for fixing things--not a guarantee, but there is hope!