Thanks for your input. When I said I was in pain I guess I should have mentioned it was because I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I have since had surgery and feel a lot better. However, my marriage is over. On the 4th of July, we went to a friend's house and my husband drank way too much and started talking suicidal again on the way home. He refused to go to our psych emergency room and threatened me with a knife because I was trying to call 911. He was hospitalized for 2 weeks again but the doctors couldn't explain what happened (my husband has no memory of these events- he was acting like he was possessed). So obviously I had a lot of anxiety and couldn't cope with being alone with him. My mom came to stay with us so maybe I could feel safe when he got out and we could go to counseling together. However he showed his true colors again, trying to intimidate and manipulate me. He would not back off and I had to punch him to get him away from me. I moved out that day. It has been pretty horrible since then. It is such a tragedy because I know he is really ill and didn't mean to act like this but my safety is more important. I am going through grief, anger, depression, all that. I am seeing a therapist every week but it's still so hard. I did not want this for my life.
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Originally Posted by WifeofTBI
I hope things are going better for you. I totally understand where you are coming from. I was with my husband for 4 years before we got married and after 7 months of marriage he fell 18 feet from a ladder at work, which resulted in a brain injury... I was relieved he survived b/c he could have easily died, but it has been a challenging journey for the last 7 years since he was no longer the man I married.
I found myself always putting his needs ahead of my own b/c he almost died. Until one day I had enough and I stopped enabling him from not doing anything. He has regained most of capabilities but his drive and ambition are gone. What I have learned in my journey is that you have to put your needs first or else you can't truly help someone else. Think of it like the flight attendant analogy - how they tell you if the plane is going down to put your air mask on first before helping those that can't help themselves. So how can you really help him until you help yourself first. You have to do what's best for you no matter what b/c you matter!!
Also please recognize the signs your body is trying to tell you. Those symptoms are showing up to tell you something. I checked in my book "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die" and it says that the abdominal area could be the result of these feelings:
-incorrect use of judgment
-identifies with possessions and has little sense of self
-feeling possessive of someone, worrying about others/needs introspection to change self
-feels responsible for giving understanding, help & encouragement
-feeling undue tension, fear & anxiety which constricts the energy flow
-disharmony and bondage in relationships
-bound up in present fears and not trusting
When these feelings come up just sit with them so you can see what's the lesson to learn. I've found that we try to get out of the uncomfortable feelings as quickly as possible without letting them do there job so we can release them and move on. I personally practice the Hawaiian technique by Dr. Hen Lui for healing Ho'opponopono which says when you have these feelings say to the universe or god (whoever you pray to) I'm sorry. Please forgive me. thank You. I love you. You are saying to the universe I'm sorry for having these feelings, please forgive me. Thank you for showing me this lesson and I love you!
I look forward to hearing how things are going... Sending you lots of love  |