Thanks for your support Mark,

Apologies for the duplication, internet took a dip so couldn’t tell if the post
went through but hey it did!

It's great that someone takes the time to really see the struggle of what someone else is going through in their life.

I feel my relationships have suffered the most since the start of this experience and so I envy you for the fact that you've accomplished what you have regarding your family.

I still maintain that one of the best things about my life is that I don't have children because it would not be fair to them.

I was raised in a semi-religious family, but after the accident I was really into my faith.

After a while of not getting support I starting wondering about this supposed love I was to be feeling but was not receiving from those around me in the same faith.

Once I was diagnosed with TLE, I really started doubting not only my faith but also my experiences relating to it.

Although I've never had what they refer to as "the God complex" (feeling that I'm invincible, that I am God) I hate to say it but I have had experiences where at the time, I've seen what I would call, angels etc.

One night I woke up to my room seemingly lighter than usual and noticed two large neon blue/white "beings" standing next to my bed.

At first I was quite startled (obviously) so I prayed for protection. When they didn't just vanish that's when I thought they were part of the protection, that maybe there was danger and that was why they were there in the first place.

Other times I've just seen blue/white lights, like “orbs”, during the day or at night. Sometimes I think I've seen a dark figure, which freaks me out because I can't tell at first if they're of the human variety!

I truly believed that what I saw was real, and then after being diagnosed based on those incidents, including the serious déjà vu feelings, I really started backtracking.

Other symptoms I've developed over time would be, intense feelings of happiness then changing suddenly to intense sadness and silent migraines (which would actually be seemingly pleasant experiences if I wasn't anxious & confused at the time - looks like a pretty kaleidoscope!),

I'm pretty impulsive now which I never was before, I'd usually be weighing up the options long after the opportunity has passed!

If you've managed to read this entire post I'm really grateful as I haven't had the opportunity to vent for quite some time!

Astrid