Hi again
I replied to your post on New Members Forum too
The forums at our other site, PsychCentral are filled with caring members who may be better equipped to offer you the support and guidance that you need.
Here is the link
http://forums.psychcentral.com/
Has anyone ever tested you for OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) ? as that can sometimes manifest with excessively intrusive thoughts. I am not saying that is what is happening, just that it may be worth looking into.
I am so sorry your parents are not getting you help, because they should be rather than leaving you to struggle and suffer with all this.
I really think you will find much support at the PC forums.
all the best and I hope things get better for you