i too am sending you hugs. thank God you have your dog. you are in such a hard place. i have pstd too. I still can't handle the anxiety and have made my world very small. i was in an explosion. I can't imagine your situation. what a fluid nightmare. It makes mine look like nothing. I don't know. if your cigar smoking was nurturing, give it second thoughts about giving it up. you need all the nurturing you can get until you find a safe place that is at least a little bit comfortable
bobby