Quote:
Originally Posted by LindaD88
I would rather be dead than have this, sorry folks, but the whole thing sucks, and no one in my family gives a rats **** if i live or die, oh well, lying there, they want me to go to work coz hubby doesnt work. He said he doesnt care about my pain, he doesnt care if i have pain. And right now, i dont care either, coz i just want to take more and more drugs till i cant feel the pain in my body. Is that weird, or is that normal? the whole thing stinks, and i hate it, i hate the tiredness, i hate the pain and i hate not feeling normal anymore. Good luck to all of you who still feel ok. I will probably not see this posted, i guess i am feeling pretty bad today. i guess that is normal too, good and bad days, but i have to go back to work full time and put on the bright smile and yeah sure, all great, and yeah i am doing wonderful, and really i just want to scream and shout that this stinks and i hate it, and i hate my husband for not caring, and my daughters never ask me either ... so i was only diagnosed a few weeks ago and already no one cares a **** what happens, i hve to suck it up princess, put on the bright face... i dont want to.
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The ugly thing about this is that it usually doesn't show much physically, it's all internal, and nobody believes how much it hurts, or even how it hurts. It's not an organic type of pain where you have an injury, your pain peaks, then gradually gets better and goes away. My mother gave me some topical cream ARNICA that helps numb boo-boos. I put that on my right foot, and five minutes later my whole foot is stinging out of control. Mom thought it would 'numb' the pain, but all it did was penetrate and excite the nerves that are damaged. ***** I couldn't move fast enough to wash that crap off. I tell her my feet sting at night, and she asks if it was because of something I was doing or eating during the day. I said no, with this disease it's much worse at night. Must have something to do with the moon, or gravity or something. So,
YOU CAN'T EXPECT A MERE MORTAL TO UNDERSTAND SUPERHUMAN PAIN. I was going to work on crutches before I got the edema (swelling) under control, but I was taking the handicapped lift up the stairs, and it got so bad, I requested to work from home. And that's what I'm doing now. I'm one of the lucky ones. But yeah, it really sucks, and what sucks worse is that there are no cures on the horizon. That REALLLY SUCKS-