@ Gerry, Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I also have been in the ring of depression for years. Always had something to keep the darkness at bay except for 2 times. It won tthen and I reached out for help. I REALLY want to live and help others who have lost hope. I just don't know how to get there from here with no resources. I really try everyday...it is a struggle right now. I need a refresher course on the tools I learned in therapy many yrs ago. Although my problems are much more complex now.I wasn't brought up in the church, but in the last several years I have turned to prayer for strength. I am trying to find a church to go to. My problem is I di NOT like to be the center of attention. I do not like people hugging me that I do not know. I don't like to be touched. The only people I want to hug are my kids,my grandbabies and some of my family members. I am n ot a fake person and I do not like people being fake to me. I tell the truth and all I ask is to be told the truth in return. I'm a big girl,I can handle the truth better than lies..
I guess I got off subject...I seem to do that as my mind is so full of *stuff*...
I am glad you areeeeeeeee doing ok now. I know how scary walking the thin line between light and darkness is, especially when you feel no one is there to catch you when you fall..
T hank you so much for your reply...sometimes it's hard to be alone in your own head, and to just be able to know someone can tell you they have been there helps sooooo very much......
Always grateful ............
deb