Hi Alffe....so you speak of coffee....I consider myself a conissuer of coffee .
It would definitely have to be a whole pot.
I will be the first the say I have wonderful children,,,despite being raised by me...hehe. It is so hard to ask for help. From anyone. I think that is why I can sometimes come on here and pour out my fears. All of you live in my computer, and if the pressure is too much I just don't turn it on. That is not treating you wonderful people right, and I get a guilty concescious about that...
My sister says I let things get to me too much, but if you go through life NOT feeling, or only feeling on the surface.....why do it?????
Regular people on the street will not get in my head. My family on the other hand, has the ability to destroy who I am, and sometimes sink to their level, as far as getting loud, and not wanting anyone around me....I go into my shell ( I am a cancer,so I really DO go inside myself They look at it as me being hateful,when in fact I am hurting, because after all this time they do not KNOW me.....and I feel it is because they don't care.
I have researched each of my sister's illnesses and went to drs visits with them. Supported them. Niether have even tried to understand MG. All they know is sometimes I can't walk, talk, or breath well. I feel hurt by their lack of caring about me.
My grandbabies are spread out. My youngest son lives in Miami, and also works in New york where he is now. He has no kids or wife. He saw me struggle, and said he would be financially capable to take care of a family before he started one. My daughter lives inAtlanta with 2 of her children. It is only 3 hours away, but she is also a single mom and working hard all the time. My oldest son and his wife live in Oxford Ms. with 2 of my grandbabies. Him and his wife both are going to Ole Miss. My other 2 grandbabies live in south Tx with their father. I have not seen them in 3 yrs, as has my daughter not. We didn't have the money or lawyers they did, so he got custody.
I get to skype my grandkids in Ms. so that helps, but its been over a year now since I seen them.
If I could work and take care of myself, I would be a different person. I need to go to the doctor, and I don't have the money. I have ran out of most of my meds, and can't get them refilled. I don't have a vehicle,I don't have anything. I am not complaining, just stating my life. I have exhausted all my options for help. I HATE that I need help and can't give back...I will not be a burden on anyone. Family can say things, but they don't mean it. The med I am worried about just stopping is my prozac. I have dealt with antidepressants for a very long time and have been down this road. I don't want to travel there again, but my options are limited....
This is how sad my situation is right now. I save cans to turn in for money..
Wow Alffe....I thought this would be upbeat....so sorry for the downer, and writing a novel......
Thanks so much.......
deb