Oh dear friend...I also feel guilty for my life..that I am still here with my family while she is gone...I think those are normal ways to feel when anyone we love, passes first.
I have a card from her on my fridge..she sent it last winter and it's two old woman, their arms linked, both wearing straw hats and their noses covered with sun block..and it says, "Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime."
And inside she wrote..."Aren't we proof of that?? The picture - I can see it coming- Ugh!!!" Love ya See ya soon. Sheila
And now we won't.