Hi everyone,
Thank you for all the great replys. I do have hope and I want to have a healthy mind. This is my goal. I have for most of my adult life taken 2 steps forward and 1 step back....but I was able to do it. Your health is your own personal gold mine.
I live in a very tiny town of approx 1600 people. The nearest MG organization is in Atlanta. I worked all my adult life, but got sick too early for ss I suppose,and the fact I had no insurance to go to the doctor so I just toughed it out. Not knowing it was destroying my neuromuscular junctions. All I am saying is...
I have been on this forum for a while. First because I was found to be extremely B12 deficient, so I went on the vitamins forum. I got dx with MG in Oct, so I moved over to the MG forum. They are great people there, but sometimes I get really depressed reading about all their treatments and things their drs are doing. Going to the mayo clinic and so forth. Not that I begrudge ANYONE help. I don't. So I came here, to try and let my feelings out to like minded people. Alot of people have someone they can ABSOLUTELY depend on. I have 2 sisters, who both live here. This was our parents land and came to us. There is still a mortgage on it. One sister lives off a very small amount of money as she is disabled. My older sister who is also disabled has a husband who works as a contractor overseas, and makes in one year what most people don't make in a lifetime....she is threatening to move and leave me and my sis here to *go down with the ship*. It's because of me. Everything always has to be about her, and her kids and grandkids can come and stay as long as they want. Mine on the other hand is a 2 week limit and she monitors all food. It was never this way when my parents were alive. This has always been home to all the grandkids, the only stable one they have ever known. Now it is all threatened, because of me. I feel like she has pushed me into a corner and I can't take it anymore... I already feel bad about myself for being unable to contribute. So I now refuse to let her have any control over me.. I will not be indebted to her anymore. She acts like it is a big deal when she pays for my 40.00 a month dr visit. My meds run about 50.00 a month.
I just cannot do this anymore. I don't expect anyone else to really understand...Most people would say to get over myself.
I would take a walk if I could, but my MG limits my whole life. It was left untreated for so long. I don't understand everything about it either. It is rare. About 1 in 150,000.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I don't just sit here and expect someone else to carry my load. I make myself get out. I went to the store today to get coffee. I do everything I can, to help me. Maybe someone else would do it better, I don't know.
All I know is right now, not taking my meds because I can't afford them, and trying to get someone compassionate enough to REALLY hear is too much. It is out of my hands....God is Good...
Thank you all for your caring replys...
as always
deb