Time for some serious stuff... Please don't check out on us, your wife or family. I know it's tempting, but think about the pain you would cause those left behind who love and care about you. I understand you are not asking for pity. Pain is a tough row to hoe, for sure...

What if.... You found a doctor tomorrow, who with the right combination of meds, could give you at least a part of your old life back, maybe quite a bit of it back... Or if not tomorrow, the next day or the next? Please don't give in to this temptation...

When I first got sick, I was in such agony, I would call my husband at school every day screaming, crying and threatening to do myself in. Like you, I wasn't asking for pity either-I wanted relief AND my old life back. At 48, I could not imagine living like I was living. However, the medication I am on at least checks part of the pain and symptoms. No, I don't like taking it, but it has at least given me a portion of my life back.

Am I still angry? YES!!!! But, I am trying very hard to focus on what I can do though.

The other thing that has been a blessing is that I have a supportive spouse, just as you do. I don't know you well, or your spouse, but from some of what you have said, she still loves you, even if you cannot do some of the things you used to be able to do. Isn't that worth living for?

Please, pick up the phone tomorrow and call a pain management doctor. Meanwhile, get to a Rheumatologist and see if they can determine if you have some autoimmune issues. You know some of the autoimmune diseases can also cause PN. If you don't, a good, supportive pain management doctor might be able to give you some relief...

And, give the ice a try. I will be happy to send you one of my ice packs, if you would like to try one out...

Cathie