Oh, I just remembered, my 27th wedding anniversary is coming up on May 5th I just yelled over to Alan "How long are we married now?" and he said 27 years. Jeez, talk about senior moments.

I totally understand the tiredness, the not "being too frisky" when you "don't feel like being frisky". I may be almost 60 but I did have my moments.

But when you don't feel good, and you have pain, and are tired all the time, (especially when you don't get a good night's sleep, and I don't care what the reason a person is not sleeping, IF YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING, YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING!!, I mean, who feels frisky???

How do I now get to sleep? If I could afford it, or my insurance paid for it, I would take an Ambien. I will never forget the first time I took an ambien when it first came on the market.

I was never a sleeper. And when you have children problems,like we did with our son, well, who the hell slept anymore? You lie in bed, and YOU THINK, your mind races, WELL, YOU DON'T SLEEP!!!. So my doctor prescribed Ambien. I had never taken a sleeping pill in my life.

Well, I drifted off to la la land and I slept 8 hours straight. I HAD NEVER, IN ALL MY LIFE, SLEPT 8 HOURS STRAIGHT,......EVER....

When I next saw my doctor I remember telling him "Let me tell you something, do you know what a gift you gave me." He just smiled.

We need to sleep. Plain and simple. Sure, we all get up to go to the bathroom during the night. But I go right back to sleep. Oh, I forgot to tell you what I do take to sleep. After I could not afford ambien, my doctor had samples of Lunesta. IT DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR ME!!!!

So (I guess I'm neurotic, or anxious, or whatever, considering what we went through with our son, and my doctor said "Melody, try Alprazolam, take a small amount before bedtime and it will relax you".

Well, I did and it works. I never take it during the day. You can throw anything you want at me during the daytime, and I'll deal with it. But I need to get my sleep at night.

The doctor said it's better than valium because valium stays in your system longer, or something like that. I used to take flurazepam (but that stays in your system and I was too tired the next day).

Alan takes alprazolam also, or he WOULD NEVER GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE PINS AND NEEDLES BETWEEN SOME OF HIS TOES when he lies down!!

So we both have the same prescription. We go to drugstore.com and you can get 120 pills for $14 and change. If I went to the local pharmacy, I'd pay $30 for 30 pills. That's ridiculous. Now I know that Alprazolam (which is actually xanax), well you have to be careful with it. And I am. And my doctor trusts the both of us, that we won't abuse this drug.

I know people that take ativan, xanax and trazadone (all in the same day). But I don't do that and I don't need to do that.

Thankfully, all I need is a small amount of alprazolam and in 15 minutes, I go to sleep. I mean, really?? what am I supposed to do, just lie in bed and think about my son all night long??? No, I refuse to be a martyr.

I host my own asperger forum, I come on these boards, I educate myself. And godwilling, some day, I may be able to put my head down on a pillow and drift off. But with my nervous sytem, the way it works, I really don't think so.

But if I can ever get ambien cr or plain ambien and my insurance covers it, I would take it in a minute (as my sleep aid).

So I wish you peaceful nights and pain-free days!!!!

I hope you have a nice supporting hubby and I hope you do something sweet for your anniversary.

Alan and I always go to the Japanese restaurant around the corner (we go for lunch because it's half the price of dinner and you get practically the same meal). so for $8.95 each, we have a nice mid-day meal.

All the best,

Melody