Hi Subgirl,

Well what can I say...It's a month today since he went.

Initially he was renting a place within the local area, on his own as far as I know. Although I knew where, I decided not to invade and just turn up - so he never knew that I knew anything other than the street, it's a very long street!

His brother (they've never bn close) made him meet with him about 5 days ago. He was quiet and really non responsive. He did say something about a possible lead or a job or something in a city about 300kms away..but would say no more, not even if he was coming back or anything.

I had been trying not to contact/text/email him but not very successfully I must admit. Not that he answered or responded to any of it. Anyway my resolve broke about 3 days ago and I drove round there very early in the morning to do I don't know what, but, as it was I never found out as the car was gone. Believe he has gone after this "opportunity" I rang him, got voicemail of course and, said: heard he was going, hoped that meant good news for him, apologised if he thought I'd reacted to all this badly (meaning calls/texts etc as have never said anything negative or derrogatory to him) and that I really hoped one day he would feel able to talk to me again.

Firstly I am desperate about how he is but I have resolved not to call or try anything for about a month??? Will he come back? think unlikely. Hoping so hard that things are going ok and he is looking after himself. Am hoping if I give him some space and time he may just may feel less invaded and talk to me. Hasn't given me much option to do anything else.

People around me understand NONE of this, and can't understand why I'm still a complete mess. Have to stop even trying to discuss with them as I just get peoples opinions that I should move on and that he is a #*#*#!!

I am beside myself with all this, trying so hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. Have only been in his country for 6 yrs, am from the UK. Can't sleep, eat or work, although at moment they are being really good, can't go on. Am thinking of just packing a bag and going back to the UK for a month - it's the only way I can see of distancing myself from any of this.

Please don't think i'm weak or a whiner,I'm an independant, mature and capable woman normally, but I am so, so worried about him and no-one can understand anything about it. I have rambled on because here is the only place I can. I HAVE to give him time and myself hope but it is becoming harder to feel that. Maybe he just stopped loving me? but overnight?

Sorry and thankyou, any points of view appreciated.