It sounds like you are really struggling. I think this smilie says more than my words can!

It sounds like having Trip around is helping - my housemate's dog is with me a lot and he has a calming effect on me. Poor thing got really upset when I was having a meltdown the other night.

I know these feelings...it's so hard. I could do with a friend too, have been on the hunt for one. I hope you find someone you can talk to in the flesh. Take one day at a time my dear, and some of those days will be good days, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.