Thank you both very much

The feeling of not having anymore options is mostly related to doctors constantly telling me that there is nothing more out there so often that I now carry that hopeless feeling around with me. Also I have been through so much I am not sure if another kind of treatment came up I would even have the energy to go through with it. Hospitals are traumatic for me and I wish I didn't have to see the inside of another one for a long while...but I have a neurologist appointment soon and I find myself scared about either response. Telling me to go home and live with it or telling me about a possible treatment that requires surgery. I will come back and write more when I am not so suddenly tired.