Sorry that you are having a hard time Doydie.

Sometimes I find that recalling what someone left behind rather than going to their funeral is more meaningful. Things like appreciation and gratitude for others efforts in the minds of their children, knowledge in the minds of 'students' that they may have taught, faith & devotion in the minds of those whom they may have comforted spiritually and most of all, what they demonstrated throughout their lives as something which many may continue to aspire to long after their passing.

Please take good care of yourself and be well.
In my thoughts and prayers.

With love, Erika