Carl Jung has some great quotes.
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Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.

When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.

I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.
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What I get from this is that a person does not have to remain victims of their circumstances (if they need/want to is something else)