Believe me I want to guzzel some spirits too at times, no question about it. Or do an illegial activity in my state. My desire to feel better is so strong, that I think it stops me from induldging. I am no innocent, in fact a long way from it. I guess my fear of feeling worse, keeps me on the straight path. I do mediate, read, Yoga, and what ever else I can do to distract. All of us have our individual demons to address. You are one special lady who I admire alot. You can do anything you put your mind to. Bad foot and all I am on my way outdoors to see what I can do in the garden. Rather have a beer. ginnie