I went through a no-sleep period, but lately I sleep a lot, more like Sally, but usually in two blocks at night, getting up for ginger tea and going back. I sleep much more than I did. I have assumed, as Sally thought, that it is because I'm old and have three chronic diseases. But it is also because, like Sally, I am bored. I have no joy in my life that I don't have to pay for very highly--like taking care of grandkids wears me out. Or driving to Santa Fe wears me out. But mostly I cry a lot and am depressed, and I cannot take any anti-depressant because I have Porphyria.

A recent post series on the Porphyria chat-list said that we with Porph retain Seratonin and don't metabolize it well (our own Seratonin). You would think that would make us hyper-cheerful at all times? No, none of us seem to be that way.

If this means I'm going to death soon I am more than ready for that. I want to be with Irv and with God, or perhaps it would be more polite to say be with God and Irv, in that order. And my lovely wild bunny was run over and killed a few days ago--I would like to be with my bunny and other lovely pets too, and there are some other folks I wouldn't mind have tea on a cloud with, either. So if I'm goin' that's good.

But I understand that most folks are not ready for that.

I too am scared of the process of death. But if I just drift off peacefully...good deal!