One year is a very short time in the eternal realm of things. That first year is always horrendous as every holiday, birthday, special event, a memory that just pops up...people somehow remain very numb through all those firsts. For all that you said, you sound like you are handling your "grand" mom's death in a mature and knowing way.

Being there when they died - there are so many ideas that go along with that. I was sort of there when my Dad died; not though for my brother, my friend, my mother and father in law. The only way I can look at these occurrences is that some people who have strong relationships in life are loathe to let the people they love watch them leave. It's a point in time that they need to be just them. But I can't say it doesn't hurt.

A girl I work with lost her husband back in Dec. when he tried to stop a thief after a store robbery. The thief was caught, her husband a hero, but her life has been turned topsy turvey. I'd ask in your prayers to think of her as she is having a desperately difficult time. Hopefully one of these days very soon, she will come around. All deaths and circumstances are different and people can give all the suggestions they can, but each person has to handle it in their own way. We are all unique and grieving is no different.

I hope that in this second year, you will be able to think of memories without that shooting pain that hits the heart and in time, which truly is the only thing that will make a difference, there will be a smile where today there is a tear.

I will think of you.
Cathy