Don't kill yourself - your son needs you so much more than you know. Suicide is devastating to a family.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but there will be days where you will look back on this and feel so relieved you didn't through with it...I've been there myself.

Please talk to your doctor. Ask him to refer you to a mental health specialist. There are numbers you can call when it gets too much and you can always phone 911 or visit your ER if you feel like you might go through with it - there will always be someone there to help you.

People love and care about you and they'd be distraught if you were gone. Start your new life with your family, spend a little money on yourself, take things one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. You don't have to be the best you can be all the time, 365 days a year. Relax, do what you can do for now and the rest will come eventually. Sleep and don't feel guilty, feel sad if you need to, but don't kill yourself. It won't solve anything and will leave a gaping hole in your son's heart for the rest of his life.