hey

Just about getting used to pain... it's weird that I can now just absorb it... my brain just seems to be so covered in the stuff anyway that you just get used to functioning.... someone I knew actually told me that they didn't realise how much pain I was in until they came into my room when I was on my own.

I have had to find my own way of "hiding" the pain - people my age (21) don't really like people that cry all the time. So I can act like it doesn't hurt (apart from touching - there is a VERY strict rule about that) and then go back to my bedroom and cry...

it is sad - but it's an adaption that HAS to be made in order for me to live even a tiny bit of a normal life and in order to be "treated" like "normal".

Not fair for any of us though....

Oh, and Bronco (I think it was you?) The UK is okish with benefits for disability - but not briliant at all. They have totally screwed me - I have 24 hour care and they've managed to screw me up to a point where I will have to be earning over at least $50,000 a year in order to work... because otherwise i can't afford my care and equipment etc (care alone is over $1000 a week and thats without food, travel or accomodation) (the dollars are guesstimates as I can't be bothered to check the exchange rate).

Love

Froggsy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx