Today and yesterday have been sooooo bad. i have slept day and night yesterday, night again, then napped today and this evening again. I'm horribly depressed. no energy. total fatigue. feel like a zombie. slo mo joe.

today, parents were out all day. it is probably good i don't own anything that would produce certain, instant death. although i don't think i would have had the impetus if i had found the courage. just too slow and sluggish.

the other day i ate something that hurt my esophagus and it has been very sensitive since. have been eating very light it is very reactive. that doesn't help. no comfort food.

good stuff today: dim light (post-rain) and quiet: no kids no hedgetrimmers, no workers no neighbors yakking ..... just a soothing silence.

the evening and night have been emotionally turbulent.

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yesterday, i had a menstrual migraine and Zomig did not work.. For the first time ever, I took a repeat dose, which only sorta kinda worked.. Meant I had to tweak my Zoloft down - waited to take a half a dose with my night meds then made sure 12 hours passsed before taking the next full dose. It was ok- no weird stuff, just a vivid dream - an interesting one but lots of ambivalence and anxiety in it.

NOT what i need tinkering with zoloft while i've just established therapeutic blood level!!!

this dip in the depression could be exacerbated by pms (hormonal flux). i hope that is so in that case i will be a good bit better in a day or two max.

gonna try to sleep now.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............
~ waves ~