Hi Frogga and Ada,

Frogga, I completely see what you mean; you're fine, though. You do it all just right. There is a wide variation in the severity of RSD as presented on the forum, and (my heart breaks) you're just on one end of the spectrum. I'm on the other.

Because I'm on the other I've had a few posts sent to me along the lines of "well, if you can work, you can't have RSD". If only. And as if it doesn't take an enormous amount of effort to physically perform; frankly, if I didn't have to work for money I'd have to work for the love of it anyway, even if it meant becoming an ear artist, LOL.

But anyone thinking you or I shouldn't be here because you're too afflicted and I'm not afflicted enough needs to find a forum where everything is censored, watered-down and everything in the garden is rosy. And if that's what a person needs, so be it, there are plenty more other forums like that.

But this one isn't like that.

Ada, you've just edited your post since I put this up, but I'm going to let this stand. I thought your post was interesting, not at all "starting anything" - I take the point that you don't like any kind of confrontation, none of us do if it's uncalled-for or unwarrantedly aggressive.

But discussion and disagreement (not to be confused with confrontational aggression) are the hallmark of a good, healthy forum. Would you want a forum in which people can come on and post anything they like - not just abusive things, but false, misleading and ultimately damaging - and have the post readers feel that no-one can reply, protest or offer countering information, honestly? Without honesty, it all becomes meaningless. You also instantly open the door to trolls.

In addition, when there is intellectual discussion, for example about research, you will get disagreements. Universities, btw, are the bitchiest, most gossip-ridden places in the universe, outside of Hollywood, LOL.

It's all about the exchange of ideas and we all have different ideas, hallellujah!! But through healthy, active and yes, sometimes heated, verbal interaction comes understanding and hopefully concensus. A strong healthy forum can deal with this. We should be cheering on the dual and pitching in with more ideas if we can, not hiding behind sofas.

Once you start down the "lets all be nice to each other all the time" road, you begin a process of dishonesty, or guarded honesty where people think they can't say what they really feel - and at the end of that road lies serious mistrust because you can tell, even on a forum, when people are sincere. I don't want a forum like that (and I *will* argue with you about that if it's necessary LOL!). Keeps the blood moving!

And even if you succeeded in getting all the present forum members to mind their Ps and Qs, new people come in all the time who don't know the unwritten rules and that shoots that one down.

I think a forum only works well when you begin from a standpoint of "we're all human, we have differences and flaws and we all have our own ideas and mannerisms which occasionally conflict with other people's". But as a human being we can adapt, help others and interact in as civilised a manner as possible. I believe that most people on this forum make a serious effort to be civilised and helpful whenever they can and you can't ask for more than that.

Just another point, Ada, but it's important. Because the pages in the forum are so short (I have tried hard to get them lengthened to include more posts, to no avail) new posts become old posts in a day or two and drop off the page, and no-one has the time to go to page 2 very often...I think we are all very good at trying to ensure that posts get answered, some people go out of their way to do so, and I thank them for this.

But occasionally there will be a lull in members visiting, or a surge, and either way a post might drop off the page unnoticed or people just don't have the time, or it needs research, or..for whatever reason, that'll happen and a post won't get answered.

If that happens, and if you noticed it, the best thing to do is bump it back up again, it's that simple.

Anyway, I think we all do try our level best and if there's a shortfall, it's by accident not design. And in general we do take the rough with the smooth (and that could physically mean you and me, Frogga - you being the smooth, of course ) in a rather impressive way.

OK. I'm done!
all the best!