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If I can't get better than this, I will deal with being sick. But I don't want to settle for less than I could have.
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This is pretty much word to word what I said to my neurologist last time we met. So, I can understand how you feel.
I think this is one of the hardest problems with this illness. There are (supposedly) numerous effective treatments, but no one really knows how effective they are or what are the true risks and benefits of each.
There are days I say to myself-why take the risk? And other days I think it is stupid not to try once more to get some benefit.
I am very fortunate to have a neurologist who stops me from such "adventures".
I think you should be happy with your level of function, but I can understand why you wan't more.
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There's something about the size of my red blood cells (MCV, I think). Mine aren't as big as they could be, which indicates that the immunosuppressant isn't working at peak efficiency.
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Increased MCV (and other hematological changes) are a side-effect of imuran not a desired goal. It can alter the production or blood cells, in a somewhat similar way that B12 deficiency does. You can go above the recommended doses, but your risks of unwanted side-effects and complications increases with that. So, I personally wouldn't stay on that dose for long.
It is also true that different people have different metabolism of medications, so the recommended doses are true for the average/majority of the population but may be too high or too low for some. But, we are unfortunately not yet in the era of being able to determine those parameters for most medications. Adding more complexity to an already complicated situation.