I feel very miserable tonight.

I'm so frustrated by how much everything is hurting and how little anything is changing.

I feel really lonely at the moment. My 'friends' have well and truly all disappeared now. I can't remember the last time a friend called or messaged to see how I was doing and the last message I sent to them just got ignored.

Plus, my hormones seem to be going crazy or something because all I can think about is... ahem... being with a guy. I think about trying internet dating or something (I have seen a few blokes I wouldn't mind meeting with) but then I think, how am I going to cope in a pub? What if I start stammering? What happens when I go blank? What happens when I can't remember the question he just asked me?

I feel like I can't get on with my life. My 20s are slipping away from me. I look so much older than I am right now. My eyes are practically black from sleep deprivation and lack of sun/fresh air.

Plus I have only a month left to find a place and move out. I can't find anywhere affordable.

There's a couple of people I trust and want to reach out to but I just can't bring myself to ask them for help. I'm not very 'close' to them. I feel like it makes me weak. Or that I'm bothering/burdening them. Or they won't want to help me.

God this sounds pathetic. Just needed a good ramble.