My mom has always been my best friend, the only person i could talk to about anything . My mom became ill with walking pnumonia and heart disease . When i would hear her coughing i always told her to go to the doctor , but i guess she never paid any attention to it . Her job required her to do a lot of traveling so when she was coming back home we always spent so much time together . The last day she came to visit my brother and i she didn't seem to be her usual energetic self she wouldn't really look us in the eyes . I remember before she left i gave her such a tight hug and she just looked at me . Within a few days a image came to my head of my mom on the ground holding her chest . I became so sadden by that image . Within a few weeks my brother came into my room and told me she was in the hospital . I was just in shock and didn't know what to say . Not only was she sick but she was far out in new mexico . So my dad took my brother and i to go see her in the hospital , and when we saw her she was so heavily sedadted she couldn't communicate . I never gave up hope that maybe she will be able to get better enough to talk with us . She never did ... It was hard to see my mom in that way i cried everytime we visited the hospital . The doctor came and told us how much time she had left to survive and he told us it was pretty much of nothing . They broke my heart . All i was thinking that i never got a chance to know she could hear me say i love you . September 8, 2012 my mom passed away it seems as though the passing does not hurt the most as me not being able to ever tell my mom that i love her one last time before she left us . Now im constantly worrying if shes in spirit can she see me, hear me, anything ? I have no closure and that is what hurts the most . I've been getting emotional ever since the hospital visit and i dont think i will ever move on from this . I have no friends , my mom was my only friend and now that shes gone i feel like i have nothing . I just wish my mom would've taken care of herself better , i don't understand why she didn't just go to the doctor before letting things get worse. When i see pictures of her or even things she used to wear i start to cry . im 18 shes gotten the chance to see me graduate and even seen my prom pictures . I just wish she could be here to see everything else im going to accomplish in the future :*(