SpaceCadet,

If you feel you must have a firearm, a rifle is not for you - the kick would be bad for you, it will percuss your injury, and most probably disorient you in an order not to be further able to be of any assistance to your loved ones.

MyHeadHurts is actually trying to help, no matter how short the answer, being that you will hurt yourself... the explosive noise of the shot would also affect you, and most likely give you more problems than you want..........and a rifle is not something useful to defend your home with, if you are not experienced .

You should contact law enforcement, and ask about handguns, if you must have a firearm, and go thru the proper procedures for protection - you have enough problems from your history....don't bring down more on yourself.

Keep moving forward with the positives you are thinking about and working toward as best you can and best wishes guy.