Yes, I feel like you do. Although I've only been diagnosed for a year, I have tried everything I could to try to put this disease behind me. I have difficulty accepting that, although I've done everything I'm supposed from the onset of my injury to today, I have not been able to put this disease behind me. My emotions run the gamut from day to day. My family generally has been supportive but they have difficulty with the attention my disease takes. I'll say something is hurting more than usual and my husband will then say his ankle hurts. I returned from a bad dr.'s office visit where I was told there was nothing the specialist could do for me only to find my family arguing amongst themselves. My son asked me if I felt abandoned. I did feel abandoned by my family & the specialist. It can be very lonely but that's why we're here. Only we can understand what it's really like. I know I'll probably have to go through Dr. Kubler-Ross's stages of grieving but I can't ever imagine myself getting to the acceptance stage. This isn't what any of us could have imagined for ourselves- at all. I think about how a stubbed toe could possibly kill me. Blows my mind. But then I think that a car speeding down the street could kill me. I don't know if you're a religious person, but the one thing that gets me through it is that I know God has a plan for me and I put my trust in God. He's never left me down.