Thanks everyone! It is nice to know that I'm not alone. I keep thinking, I should be over this by now & on to acceptance..... I mean, seriously, I do have a Great family. My husband of 20 years & both my children never complain about the effect my RSD has on their life & if I complained all the time, I don't think would complain. I had a job with a great company which required a lot of traveling; needless to say I can't travel all over anymore, so I've transferred to another department where travel is never required & I work from home everyday. So....I should be happy...right? The problem is I worked hard for the life I had & I liked the life I had. I loved my job & liked the traveling. My family & I led a very active lifestyle: Every winter, we went snow skiing the week after Christmas. We live on a huge lake & have a boat & jet skis. I love to ski, tub, wakeboard. We went hiking, climbing, deep sea fishing...you name it we did it. RSD has stolen all of these things from me! I am grateful that I still have a job & I am grateful that I am blessed with such a wonderful family. But I hate the fact that flying in an airplane is going to end in a flare. Shoes...I Love Shoes....instead of 100+ options, I have 3- options. I hate the fact that we I can no longer snow ski, water ski, hike, climb. My gait is so disrupted that I'm lucky to make it through the grocery store without stumbling. I still go on the lake & enjoy watching my family ski, tube, etc., but the truth is.....on the inside....I hate it....I'm ******....I'm jealous! Of course they have no idea I feel this way; I would never tell them these selfish thoughts. But what am I supposed to do with my life....sit on the sidelines & watch from now on??? I'm trying to find other things that I enjoy that are 'RSD Friendly', but I am at a loss! I always try to think of Dr. Suess' quote: 'Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened', but it's difficult. I'm only 38, I'm supposed to have a full life ahead of me, but instead, I feel like it's over.