I'm sorry to hear about your son's anger issues as well.

You mention he acts like a toddler... you know, that's a good description, that's exactly how I feel when the anger hits me too. Words escape me, feels like no one understands, like I have no control over my life and emotions... very similar.

I've had my own challenges with anger since my fall in February and they've not been pretty and I'm 40 years old!! They are scary to me, since previous, I always felt very in control of my emotions and it would take a lot to make me feel angry and way more for me to act on it. And acting on it then would maybe mean raising my voice.

Now, it seems like there's little rhyme or reason to things that make me angry. Something that made me angry yesterday, might not phase me a bit today and vice versa.

Definitely removal from the situation or person that is triggering the anger is important. But for me, I have a really hard time sitting alone and waiting it out. It seems to take a very long time to work its way out if I just try to sit in a dark quiet room and wait.

My personal strategy is to go somewhere alone and I usually go outside (just works best for my situation) and I have a collection of empty cardboard boxes that are all taped shut and I kick the crap out of them until I'm no longer angry or I'm too exhausted to care that I'm angry. Sometimes I yell, scream, swear (we live rurally so our neighbours are quite far away ) but I just kick them over and over, usually they require quite a bit of repair later when I'm feeling better.

It seems to help work the adrenaline out of my system and no one gets hurt and I can move forward sooner with my day. Often I head upstairs for a nap afterwards and all is good when I wake up.

I did have to set a rule with my family that when I'm out kicking my boxes, no one is to disturb me, no matter what. No one is to come outside where I can see them, nothing. That just sets me off again.

Originally, I was probably using the boxes 3-5 times a week... now its often once every 2-3 weeks and usually only on days that I've overdone it or the day after I over did it, combined with something that might have originally irked me a bit.

There has been progress, even if its slow.

Not sure if this might be helpful to you and your son... set up the rules beforehand... only these boxes may be beaten on, nothing else and let him at it.

I know I sure need an outlet for it when it strikes... and falling down on the floor and having an all out temper tantrum really isn't becoming when you're a middle aged woman!!

Best of luck.
Starr