Thanks for replies. Oral meds for depression don't work for me because of the concussions. I am on Emsam patch and gabepetin or something like that. Go to counseling and it doesn't help. I know I shouldn't be driving but I can't give that up. Ram a stop sign a couple of weeks ago with two of my kids and someone else's child I'm the vehicle. Really scared me
Try not to drive with my kids unless I have to but it is unavoidable
They know not to distract me.

Another thing scaring me is the impulsivity and bad decision making. My wife is really struggling with all this and it is putting a tremendous strain on our marriage and of course our sexual relationship. Which leads to my next problem
I AM dedicated Christian family man and would not have an affair. They very thought sickens me. Yet. I have twice now had very inappropriate sexual conversations with women online. I have since deleted all applications leading to these acquaintances
I am sickened by doing this racked with guilt. I would have never done this in years past. I have read where head trauma can lead to this type of behavior. Not looking for excuses. I know I am accountable for my actions. I have five children at home ages 5-16 and adore them. My behavior would crush them
I am very distraught. Have thought about separation so the kids don't have to listen
to their mom get after me. Have often just wanted to get in thr car and leave, just drive
for a couple days. Even called my brother and told him I might do that and if I did not to worry. I would return.