I had my 1st major depressive episode at age 25. It persisted relentlessly until the age of 46. I had tried virtually every class of antidepressant, alone and in combination with mood stabilizers and antipsychotics along with therapy. Nothing helped. I have experienced the pleasure of 4 vacations in psychiatric hospitals.
Eventually it reached the point were I felt my only hope was suicide, had already made one attemp and seriously contemplated it another 4 times. I was in a deep dark hole. It was so deep that there was no rope long enough to reach me. Of note my therapist of seven years stated I was the most persistent and hardest working patient she had!
In Sept, 2010 it was decided that my only option was ECT. I was to have 12 treatments. After the first week my family and friends began to see a big difference, I noticed nothing until about the third week. Unfortunately I relapsed shortly after the treatments were stopped. Between 9/2010 to 3/2011 I received 53 treatments. I had severe memory problems. This did concern the psychiatrist performing the treatments and he did suggest that we switch to unilateral treatment and back off on the frequency. However the ECT, though far from a cure had pulled me out of that black hole, I was addanament that we stick with the treatment as it was. When I came to after the treatments, the first question I asked was the seizure duration. To me a seizure less than one min. Was suboptimal. I was prepared to do anything to stay out of that dark hole!
I am going to taske a break posting, but will resume shortly, too tiered!