Some of you may remember the consultant that got me into the finance institution with loopy boss (who it turns out valued my work quite a bit), followed by another short stint of work from which i had to withdraw after vacation.

well that consultant called me in february to see if i were feeling better and perhaps available - told him i was going into teaching and felt that i could not handle the stress of development positions.

yesterday he called me again. another job offer, mixed responsibilities. technical support type area, they want someone who is english mother tongue to act as a facilitator in conference calls. other work involves relaying responses to/from techs, some reporting for superiors, and some excel work. like i said mixed bag. low pay but every now and then a week off (full time day-wise, but not by #days/year).

well. bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, especially in this economy. unemployment rate is ridiculously high. i can't bet on schools hiring because people aren't spending... there may not be a lot of demand right now, and it would all be part time, might have to juggle several schools, different location for each course... etc.

but this consultant fears that the person he has in place now might "not last" and so he's trying to push me on availability. i'm trying to push back but meanwhile...

my anxiety has shot up. today i realized i am just completely petrified of having to move into full time work within few weeks. if the other guys stays his time (till Jan) i have an adjustment period, but right now i feel water at my throat rising..........



i am trying to reassure myself... they can't kill me... worst can happen is i'll have to leave... etc.... i think my biggest fear is getting ill again and stuck out of work again...

~ waves ~ incredulous!