Dear Mari
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Originally Posted by Mari
Are you telling him that you will think about it and trying to stall him on a decision?
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I should have. I don't know what i was thinking... I basically told him it sounded good but I have to wait on some medical results to commit. So i do have an out but I am still wondering how I lost the habit of always popping the "Ok thank you, I need to think about it and will let you know" phrase. sheez!
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Maybe you are more stable med-wise than you were before you started the last one.
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yes, i am more stable. Last time i had been depressed and was already showing mixed features, i was drinking unmoderately (symptom). Then i had a switch to mania which was mixed at at times.
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Is the travel better than the last one or about the same?
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about same - perhaps 10 mins longer due to walking.
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Regarding your biggest fear: you can quit faster than you did the last time. You are more aware now of your needs.
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quitting is not easier said than done - i basically eat a month of work without pay and **** off the consultant.
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Will you have a degree of flexibility about migraines?
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absolutely not. the whole premise of returning to work is that i am now on medication that can cover me most of the time and fix me when i have a breakthroug migraine.
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Try not to factor the economy into your decision making. That is external. Go by what is happening with you these days.
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we have a expenses. i can't stay unemployed all the time. not taking an available job might mean not being able to get a job when i am well enough to get one ... that is a fear. double edged sword though isn't it.
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when we are not healthy, it is hard to take a reading). Sometimes, a few more days of letting yourself "feel" if this is right, gives you enough time to get to the right answer of what works for you.
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i am hoping the time it takes to do the labs will help clear things up. either this abject fear will abate or it will not. i know my heart is not in this. i did ask myself if i thought i could find a way to PUT my heart into it, using a different perspective, assuming i decide i can actually cope. that i don't know yet. i can't even cope with thinking about it so far. it brings to mind jobs in corp environments, walking through those grim hallways, feeling oppressed. that is where my heart not being in it comes in.
we shall see. thanks to the labs, i do have some time even though i did not negotiate it correctly.
thanks Mari for all the good reminders.
~ waves ~