Ashley,
the nights are the worst, aren't they? Any kind of long struggle, be it physical or emotional can leave you feeling washed out and depressed. You realize that you don't want to check out, and that is a good start. You are helping others, so whether you know it or not, you are making a difference here in this world.

Are you dealing with an injury from your fall that will resolve, or are you going to have to live with the effects indefintely? Its hard not to panic when the bills pile up and the fear of losing what you have starts to creep in. Can you prioritize your bills as to what you have to pay right away and those bills that can wait? Call the companies sending the bills and explain your situation. Sometimes people will give you a break as long as they know you are trying.

Do you think you would benefit by seeing a professional? There are psychologists that will adjust their fees for those in financial trouble. I know you don't have a car, but would a friend be willing to drive you?

It doesn't take much to change your life forever. Before I was hit with a chronic pain condition, like you, I never even dreamed that I would be living in the dark or unable to walk or run normally from secondary problems. We take for granted those normal every day things that we can do, but if we lose them, they all of a sudden gain a new importance.

I'm glad you found your way to the forum. People here understand what you are going through and will try to help. Sometimes its a matter of finding new ways to cope with a problem. Don't give up on yourself. You still matter even if you feel that you don't.

Sam