I just donīt know!

Iīm starting to get a little confused by it all now because Iīm not sure if itīs maybe just positive and not realistic thinking! I donīt have any detailed stories of how remission works. I know Iīve now got 100% use of my hands back but that has now taken a year and a half and I can now actually grip something and crush it. Grip strength and finger dexterity is no longer fluctuating. But yet when the newer more recent bulbar and ocular symptoms present and fluctuate I am always so sure that this time really must be the last time with those symptoms as well, and it usually isnīt.

About 3 weeks ago I had a flare up with breathing/vision/swallowing problems could climb only 3 steps before getting breathless, then 2 days later it was about 20 steps and on the 4th day about 70 which was unbelievably close to my 2004 level of fitness which was above average for my age. Zero Mestinon this week and the matching zero degree temperatures outside are working myasthenic miracles. It felt like on day 4 I had wriggled out of a myasthenic straight jacket but didnīt dare speak too soon. So if the pulmonologistīs appointment happened on aīday 4ī it would obviously count as remission and yield little results.

Nothing now is as gruesome as it was 2 years ago and what has also thrown me completely is that on day 4 I got a taste of my original energy level from 8 years ago - which I never thought would be possible in my lifetime.

How did that happen? Even if I get fluctuating symptoms back, being able to have accessed that original energy state must have meant something?

So maybe now after all my posts on brain/memory threads I might need to join another forum and actually leave this one! And if thatīs the case I would so miss that special way those silly icons are only used around here.....