Good news, for a change. I think finally I've found the drug for me. This is the first weekend that I feel like "me" in a long time. I even went to the mall but felt a panic attack coming on but brushed it off. Ever since I've been diagnosed BP I've been afraid to go out in public too much for fear people would know that I'm BP. Doesn't make sense, but that's me.

My head still feels out there and food still tastes horrible but I can't complain. I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 7 lbs. since I've started on Lithium. But hopefully I'll get my taste back soon.

I realized last night that I've lost my "roots". I was very angry at God at one time for taking my mom so soon. But my mom wasn't well and she missed my dad so much. I have visions of them up in heaven playing cards and dancing or just being mom and dad. I've felt an urgency to let God back into my life and now I realize.............that's what I've been missing. But I'd do anything to have them back, right now.

Now if only sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep would come. Maybe tonight.