I'm new here, but this thread struck a chord with me. I am a former Coast Guard aviator and martial arts instructor. I had a great life with my best friend, (my wife) and three wonderful sons. It ended. After a year or so, our pastor asked me to speak in church, in conjunction with the theme of his sermon. I was frightened and puzzled as I asked him what the subject was. "Humility," he said. I didn't know what that had to do with me. So he said, "I used to see you here in a flight suit when you attended church while on ready crew. I know you were a martial arts instructor on base. You were a man's man." "Then, very suddenly you had to take on the role of a Mr. Mom, and it just seems like you have handled it all so well." (Little did he know) I remember the first day I awakened and realized I'd never awaken feeling good again. I remember when the VA was taking their time and Social Security turned me down. I stood on our deck and cried, "What did I do? I served my whole adult life - how is it I get treated like I'm trying to steal from the system?" It was while writing up what I was going to say in church that I realized something very important to me. In my need to live my life looking in the rear view mirror I missed noticing that my sons came home to someone every day. Their snack was ready. They always had help with their homework. They had me to read stories. My wife had help with dinner and laundry. They all benefited with having me home, and so did I. When my life wasn't about me, and began being about service to others it wasn't such a grim outlook. Nothing helps you so much as helping others. You cannot ignore your past, but don't let it impede your view of the future. Get in touch with the American Chronic Pain Association or someone similar. You can learn techniques and tools for living with pain that will surprise you. A quality life is still possible - don't give up! It is a different life, but it is a great one!

Mark