37IW,
I feel for you. You have a great wife who seems willing to stay with you. Many would pack it in. Due to medications etc., I'm afraid i'm in the same boat with you, except for one thing. I'm not married.

You have brought up a subject that is very difficult, because like it or not, we tend to place a great deal of our self worth on our ability to function sexually. It took guts to do that. Its hard to say which of the factors are preventing you from attaining an erection. I do know that the fear of not being able to function normally can make things worse.

Do you have normal feeling in your penis? I don't blame you for not wanting to have a pump installed or receive shots. You want what you had back. It sounds like your urologist and pain Dr. need to get together and figure out the cause. You are still a young man and deserve to have that portion of your life restored if at all possible. If neither of your Dr.s know the answer, see if they can refer you to someone who specializes in your problem. I hope you are able to find answers. Don't give up.

Sam