Johanna, it is so much easier than volunteering. Just being present is a great first step. You said you were isolating. First, un-isolate! If this seems more than you can handle, talk to your doctor. It is no shame. I found that between 90 and 95 percent of chronic pain patients experience depression. Some are able to work their way out, some not. I was not and asked for help. I am so thankful I did! By the way, I am being transparent about this stuff because you need to know that you aren't alone. No matter how alone you feel, or want to feel, there is a hand reaching down to pull you up. I just hope that you will have a day soon where you feel good enough to reach out and take it. This situation in which we find ourselves is not an impossible one. As much as it seems so, it isn't a forever one, either. My life is so much measurably better now, and I haven't received my stimulator yet. I have just learned so much from others that I am better at living a life with pain. There are any number of things that you can do, you just haven't done them yet. Don't go out on Monday and volunteer for something. You are likely not ready for the obligation. First, reach out to a friend and schedule a lunch. Then another. When you find yourself able to express, make an appointment with your primary care, even if to be referred to a mental health professional. We have a much bigger bunch of luggage to carry than most, don't try to carry it all - we have help for that '8) Have a great weekend and a better week to come.

Mark