Welcome to the forum. Do you see a neurologist? If not, you should consider getting an evaluation by one who has seen problems like yours. You will find plenty of support here. There are others who have experienced what you have, and will be able to give you ideas on how to handle your feelings. Sometimes someone will have the name of a nuerologist they use that may be near to you.
Can you tell us what you have done so far to find out what is going on?

Sam